Ash Flower

1

I'm screaming on the inside, outside they're looking in
Can't see the real me for the smile rigged on my skin
Can't touch me for my bones have invaded my body
I'm more insect than man, no clerk is in my lobby
Like Nicholson in The Shining I'm seeing dead faces
But then I realize it's just me in my mirror
The lines I see within it I trace in hopes to find
A treasure, a pot of gold, something to realize
Or rather to distract me from looking into my eyes
That say so many words I don't wish to divine
That whisper everything that at night naturally comes
The words that I say not for fear they're made real
The words that accurately describe how I feel
So I play a silly game with myself to forget
That every moment I breathe all I do is fret and fret
That every moment of the day all I do is lay around
I try to find solace in the holy sounds
Of the great artists that came before me
And for a brief moment I feel like I am free
I feel like I am that I can be like them
But I know that that's nothing but a game.

2

If I could I would I should but could I?
It feels like night time even during the day
The birds that I see they're all running away
I in the prairie, they in the sky
I grounded on the grounded they free to fly
I, fickle a moment then underground
Worm food worm wood
Like me there's millions around
I'm nothing special
I'm unique like everyone else
A snowflake for a moment
Then a sea bed
Light is but a dream way way down here
Even the fish that swim crawl way down here
Even the atmosphere is designed to kill
Can't even dream to be scuttling in the dark seas
Though ragged claws I have and all they can do is scratch
They cannot help me scratch through
They cannot help me die.
No mermaids around to hear me sigh
No wastelands to sing of I have become one.
A hollow man, a scare crow, slowly undone.


3

The
The light
At the end
Of the tunnel seems